so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize