The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
