JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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