you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
