Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
