So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We are all done wearing pants today
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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