We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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