if only i could text you this smell
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize