Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
