You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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