He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
