Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
