My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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