I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
