dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
