the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my sisters under your porch take her home
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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