you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
