Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize