went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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