maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize