508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
