spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish there were birth control emojis
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
