I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
