I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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