I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
