You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The struggles of a small town man whore
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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