hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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