they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
