fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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