but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
