Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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