Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
