Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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