Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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