We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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