I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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