i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
