Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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