well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Panties = found
Randomize
