And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
