I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
