Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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