I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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