i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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