Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my liver is dry heaving
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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