That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My vagina just recognized that song.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Are my feet made of real feet?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
