Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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