im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
