Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
