Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
