I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i will never coherently bang her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
