Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
