found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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