my vag is so smooth its legendary
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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