I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
