For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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