Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize