being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
