He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
