tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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