So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
