Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
