I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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