Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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