is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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