Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
