I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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