I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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