a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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