peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
