Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
