What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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