It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you win again, gameday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize