As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
