now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
