he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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