my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
handjob tips. give me some.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
